Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Spaghetti and Gumballs

Source: http://uncrate.com/stuff/giant-gumball-machine/

Guy: Hey! Hey, you!
Me: Hi.
Guy: Hey, I have a giant gumball machine filled with gumballs here that I think you need.
Me: I need a giant gumball machine?
Guy: Yes, you most certainly do. You need to buy this machine and these gumballs.
Me: Well, how much is it?
Guy: It's only $500 for the machine AND the gumballs. I'm giving you a deal, too.
Me: But I don't have $500.
Guy: It doesn't matter. You need this machine and these gumballs, and you're gonna buy 'em.
Me: But... I don't really need that much gum. I chew a piece every now and again, but I can usually get a piece for free from someone I know.
Guy: Well, the gum they're giving you isn't good for you. You shouldn't be eating that gum. These gumballs are better.
Me: Okay, well... what do I get for my $500?
Guy: This giant gumball machine and a whole ton of gumballs.
Me: ...that I'm not going to be eating.
Guy: That's right.
Me: Okay, here's $500. You can just put the machine right over there.
Guy: Splendid, splendid. So, if you ever feel like having a gumball, just put 50¢ in these little slots, turn the handle and VOILA! You can have a gumball!
Me: Wait... these are my gumballs. I just paid you $500 for them. Why do I have to pay another 50¢ to get a gumball from the machine?
Guy: Because that's the way the machine works. You make your initial payment and then each time you want to use the machine, you pay a little more.
Me: So I'm paying myself back for my own gumballs?
Guy: Oh, no-no! The money you put into the gumball machine does not come back to you. That's my money.
Me: Wait, so you get the money that I put into the machine if I want a gumball? But it's my machine.
Guy: Wellll... yes. You *did* pay for the machine, so technically it's yours, but the money you put into it is not yours. It's mine.
Me: Okay, well... what do you do with the money?
Guy: Oh, I give it to other people so that they can buy gumballs.
Me: So, you take my money that I put into the machine to buy a gumball and you give it to other people so that they can have gumballs too?
Guy: Yes, exactly.
Me: Can't they afford their own gumballs?
Guy: No, not really.
Me: But I can't afford the machine or the gumballs either and, again, I really don't chew gum that much. Like... hardly ever.
Guy: Well, that's irrelevant. You should be happy! Look, you have this lovely, giant gumball machine and all these gumballs now, and other people can now enjoy these gumballs too!
Me: Well, I guess I will be eating those gumballs after all since that $500 I gave you was to buy food for the next couple of months. Spaghetti and gumballs, anyone?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Comedians in Cars Making Sense

So, I've recently stumbled across this little web series by Jerry Seinfeld called "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee". A recent issue of EW (Entertainment Weekly) featured the series in an article, prompting me to pull up the site out of curiosity. The series features comedian and actor Jerry Seinfeld driving around in classic/vintage cars, picking up fellow comedians and taking them out to little cafés/diners/bistros/coffeehouses and talking about nothing. The first season consists of ten webisodes, ranging from 8-17 minutes in length, and the second season is currently on it's fifth episode (available 07/11 at noon).

Personally, I've found the series to be more interesting than actually funny, as Jerry's selection of companions ranges widely (from the young and liberal Sarah Silverman to the aging comedy trailblazers Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks). Comedians, it would seem, can get pretty philosophical when they're not shooting off one-liners and ragging on the nuances of pop culture. Episode five of season one (watch it here) features Mystery Science Theater 3000 creator Joel Hodgson, who, during his chat with Jerry at a retro-themed diner, noted something that struck me as both darkly funny and true. Here is a transcript of that portion of their conversation:

Jerry: "But the other thing that's an object of fascination is that I've found that comedians of all kinds, and this goes back the Mad Men thing... the corporate environment. The idea of bosses and employees is just hilarious to us. Why is that so funny?"
Joel: "When we don't have to do it. Right?"
Jerry: *laughs* "It's such a typically human attempt to organize what is unorganizable. Life."
Joel: "You're right."
Jerry: "We just see the helplessness of trying to organize human endeavor into a building."
Joel: "We like to be in a system."
Jerry: *inserts* "That works."
Joel: "If you can agree with me that I'm you're boss and you do what I say, everything is gonna be fine."

Jerry Seinfeld and Joel Hodgson in S1E5 of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

I had to smile at what Joel noted at the end of this exchange because it's both ridiculous and true at the same time. In any workplace environment where there is a tiered structure of authority (bosses and employees), you're essentially taking a group of people who--outside of that building/workplace and under any other given circumstances--are equals or peers, and saying, "Hey, while we're in this building, we are all consenting to the fact that I have authority over you and you have to do whatever I tell you to do, no matter how pointless or senseless you may think it is." At the end of the day, I may be smarter than this individual, I may have a higher education, more experience, more common sense, a better handle on life, but... because of a few figures on a paycheck, when I walk into this building and put myself "on the clock", they receive this magical boost in power and authority. And if I want to continue to have a place to live and put food on my table, I must acknowledge this authority and comply with whatever mandates it sends my way. How non-sensical it is when you really think about it.

Maybe I'm just anti-authority, or maybe I just feel that authority is something that should be earned and not just given. It can be a little difficult to respect an authority that's assigned when some schmuck in an office decides that another schmuck in an office should get more money and a bigger office because they're more "qualified". Maybe this person truly is more qualified to do whatever it is they're doing, but if I'm at a restaurant eating dinner and some guy walks up to me and asks me to move over to another table, and to wait until after I leave to finish my dinner, I'm gonna look at him like he's crazy and tell him to bugger off. But if the same guy, who just happens to be my "boss", comes up to me at work and tells me I need to relocate to three cubicles over, and that all foods and beverages must now be consumed outside on a tiny patio, I have to comply because this person has authority over me while I'm in that building. In both cases, the reasoning behind the requests is likely to be equally pointless in the grand scheme of things, but because I signed a paper saying that I would adhere to this age-old structure of workplace authority, in one case, I am required to comply.

Perhaps it's the attitude of authority that I find ridiculous, moreso than the idea of a tiered "command" system within the workplace. Of course there have to be levels of authority within that kind of environment, or nothing would ever get done. The vast majority of what your average employee does at their workplace on a daily basis is not done because they see any real value in the work, or any point in doing it. It's done because they're made to do it by an authority figure who says, "Hey, you may think this is stupid (and it probably is), but you have to do it because I said so, and because you wanna keep getting paid." Granted, in some cases, the differing levels in experience, education, and work ethic between boss and employees does truly warrant an attitude of authority that must be forced upon workers in order for anything productive to occur. It's unfortunate, and cannot possibly promote a happier workplace environment, but sometimes it's necessary. In so many cases, though, this self-righteous attitude of, "I'm more successful, I'm more powerful, I have greater ambition, I make more money," only leads to a broken, ineffective system full of unhappy, oppressed employees who don't understand how this person without an ounce of sense or people skills has been able to gain so much authority over so many people.

In the end, as with all things, it's not the system itself that's broken, it's the people within it. Those that are able to accept their position of authority without adopting an attitude of authority will ultimately be more successful and more effective with more satisfied, productive employees. Those that can look at those employees they've been given authority over and say, "Hey, I may be your "boss", but we're ultimately just peers working towards the same goals, and we all have valuable knowledge and experience we can bring to the table. At the end of the day, I may be making the final decision, but I respect every single one of you as smart, hard-working individuals whose thoughts and input are just as important as mine."

Positions and paychecks are ultimately just indicators of responsibility and seniority, not authority. An attitude of unity and respect, and a willingness to both teach and learn from others creates its own authority, no promotion or fancy office required.

If you can agree with me that, at the end of the day, we're all just working Joes trying to earn a living, everything is gonna be fine.

Friday, March 8, 2013

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Closing My Account

So, I recently had to open an account with Stamps.com because eBay is retarded and made a shipping service (Parcel Select) that's only available for commercial shipments an option for sellers. Of course, I only discovered this once my auctions had ended and the buyers had paid the shipping rate for a service eBay/PayPal did not actually provide online labels for. My only option was to open an account with Stamps.com and use their services to print my shipping labels.

Stamps.com offers a free trial account for a month with a free $5 account credit, and they send you a free "starter kit" with S&H supplies. However, once the month is up, they start to charge you a monthly fee ($9.99 and up). While it had been easy enough to use their service and print my labels, and I appreciated having the option, I had no intention of keeping my account open, as I always use eBay/PayPal's shipping services for my auctions (when they actually provide them for the shipping options they make available for auctioned items).

Also, I'm poor.

Needless to say, while I knew I had to close my Stamps.com account prior to the end of my 30-day trial period in order to avoid fees for a service I was not going to be using, I dreaded having to call and listen to a needling account representative repeatedly try to press me into keeping my account open, or offering special bonuses or rates to keep me on as a valued customer. It's like when you call to close your credit card account and they transfer you to a "specialist" whose only job is to question your reasons for closing the account and use specially designed psychological tactics to pressure or guilt you into keeping your account open.

I'm not hating on these people, I truly feel sorry for them, and admire them in a strange way because I could never, in a million years, do what they do. I'm a very non-confrontational, go-with-the-flow kinda person. Naturally, if I worked as an account closure "specialist", my first call would be from a blustery middle-aged guy with a New York accent demanding that his account be closed "rightfrigginnow", and my immediate response would be, "Absolutely, sir. Say no more. Your account will be closed before you can say pickled Piccadilly pimpernel." And my superiors would review the call (because it would, of course, be recorded for quality and training purposes), and they'd furiously summon me into their office and demand to know why I didn't advance the customer's case to the "kittens will die a fiery death if you close your account" level. I'd be fired after less than a week, and that would be the end of my illustrious call center career.

Call Center

All this being said, I still knew I had to get my account closed, so tonight I slowly, reluctantly, dreadingly dialed the 1-888 number listed on the Stamps.com web site for account closures. I listened to the prompts and was surprised to hear that there was actually an option specifically for closing Stamps.com accounts. There's almost never a phone option to close your account, nor is there any mention of how to do so on the company's web site. It's like they think if they don't mention closing your account anywhere EVER, the notion to do so will never enter your mind, or you'll simply accept that closing your account is not, in fact, an option, nor will it be. EVER.

So, I press the number for the account closing option and waited to be redirected to a "specialist" who would proceed to wheel and deal and poke and plead while I squirmed on the other end of the line, trying to formulate the most firm and decisive response along the lines of NO that I could muster (since NO typically fails to work the first 27 times I say it).

Gulping down deep breaths, I cringe as a voice comes on the line, introducing themselves as Jessica, an automated assitan-whaaaaaaa-??? "Automated assistant"!?!? You mean... I don't have to sit through an agonizing fifteen minutes of pleading and "limited-time bonus offers" to ask you to do the same thing I asked you to do before you wasted fifteen minutes of my time and yours? Nope. All I had to do was hear two recorded 15-second extended trial offers, press 2 twice to say, "No thanks, I'd still like to close my account," and then listen to Jessica tell me she was sorry I was leaving, but she would close my account and send me a confirmation email within the next two days. Jessica ended the call with a friendly "goodbye" and, without further ado, hung up on me like the piddly, forty-nine-dollars-and-sixty-seven-cents-worth-of-business customer that I was.

I put my phone down, shocked, relieved, and actually quite impressed at the ease and efficiency with which I had just been able to close my unwanted account. I mean, granted, the easiest and most ideal method would have been to simply close it on online, the same way I'd created it, but if I had to make a phone call, by golly that was the easiest account-closingest phone call I'd ever had the pleasure of making. Kudos to you, Stamps.com, for being a step above all those other companies out there that threaten to kill cute baby animals unless you continue to do business with them. You turned what could have been a very awkward and cringe-worthy phone call into an easy breezy and, yes, even pleasant exchange. eBay/PayPal could stand to take a page from your book. Color me impressed.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

50 Years of Bond

So, I recently acquired (from Amazon) the Bond 50 Blu-ray Collection that compiles all 22 of the mainstream Bond films released between 1962 (Dr. No) and 2008 (Quantum of Solace).

James Bond 50 Year Blu-ray Collection

While the set was released prior to the 11.09.12 release date of the latest Bond film, Skyfall, in theaters, the designers of this lovely boxed compilation obviously had hard core collectors in mind because they included a "reserved" slot for the Skyfall Blu-ray disc.

Bond 50 Slot Reserved for Skyfall

I plan on keeping the disc in its original case once I pick up my own Blu-ray copy of Skyfall, but, as a collector, I have a lot of appreciation for the thought that went into the design of this set.

Tangents aside, I've been watching my way through the Bond series (in order of release) and have made my way up to Thunderball (1965).

Bond & Domino on the Beach - Thunderball (1965)

It can be difficult for me to choose favorites when it comes to films, especially older films, but of the four films I've seen so far, I probably enjoyed this one the most. And I use "enjoyed" somewhat liberally here. I'm sure I'm a little biased because I'm from a younger generation and am used to higher quality (on all fronts) in today's film industry, but it was difficult for me to take Thunderball very seriously because of the cheesy action and dialogue, gaping plot holes and Bond's tendency to just carelessly leave expensive clothing and equipment lying all over creation. And the underwater fight sequence at the end. I'm sure the underwater filming was a big deal back in the 60s, but when Bond and his allies had either killed or disabled over two dozen of the dozen men (wait, what?) that Largo had brought along on his nefarious mission, I was too busy scoffing at the lack of continuity to truly appreciate what was proably groundbreaking camera work. And I'm certain that true Bond fans (especially from the "Connery generation") would tear me a new one for dissing Thunderball, just as I'll probably light into punk kids 25 years from now when they scoff at the Daniel Craig era of Bond's film legacy. It would appear, however, that that legacy is making a return to its roots with Skyfall.

Prior to Skyfall's release in theaters, I read an article in Entertainment Weekly discussing how director Sam Mendes and Co. essentially wanted to create a Bond film that paid homage to the earlier films in the series. They wanted to bring back some of the elements that would be familiar to those from the Boomer generation who watched the original Bond on the big screen, perhaps trying to draw back in an older crowd that had begun to shy away from the darker, grittier tone of the more recent installments. A cameo for the classic, gray Aston Martin, the re-introduction of "Q Branch" and it's wacky technical gadgets, and the return of Bond's bantering office frenemy, Moneypenny, are all instantly recognizable nods that older fans will delight in.

When I finally went and saw Skyfall at the "cheap theater" (Cinemark 10 in Matthews), the film was still in its first week. I remember arriving early and sitting in the parking lot waiting for the rest of my party, agonizing that we weren't going to get good seats (that theater does get busy, believe it or not). As the showtime approached and I continued to wait, a slew of vehicles began pouring into the parking lot and I watched nervously as a crowd of folks began to emerge and make their way towards the theater. But they exited their vehicles slowly and carefully, and their progress towards the cinema doors was unhurried and shuffling. Nearly all of them sported heavy clothing, glasses and graying hair, and I realized that these were all Boomers come to see their favorite unstoppable British spy in action on the big screen once again.

Bond & the Aston Martin - Skyfall (2012)

Sure enough, when my ticket was purchased and I made my way into the darkened theater to find a seat, I counted nearly two dozen other viewers and not a head under 50. (Of course, they were all sitting quite a ways back, and so there still good seats to be had.) Throughout the movie, I couldn't help but grin at the cheering and clapping and hoots of laughter coming from the seats behind. Knowing how much those folks were enjoying the little flashes of familiarity streaming across the screen was almost as fun as the movie itself.

That being said, I truly appreciate that, in a series that has now spanned over a half a century, every generation will have their own memories of what they consider "their" Bond. My Bond will always be Daniel Craig, because Casino Royale (2006) was the first 007 film I had the pleasure of viewing in its entirety. I was aware of the previous installments and the various actors who had donned the 007 mantle over the years, but getting ahold of all of the installments of such an expansive series had always proved either too difficult or too expensive.

All in all, while the older Bond films may be a little cheesy and outdated at times, I am thrilled with the Bond 50 Collection and relish being able to finally watch the series in its entirety. While I'll always have my Bond, getting to know the 007s of generations past can only increase my appreciation for newer Bond installments, and for those yet to come.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Freedom of Silence

On December 15th, 1791, The United States Bill of Rights came into full effect as the first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution, serving to protect the rights and freedoms of people, and to limit the power of the federal government.

While all of the amendments contained within the U.S. Bill of Rights are equally important and remain relevant and applicable over 200 years after their ratification, it could be argued that one of them, the First Amendment, has garnered more awareness within American culture, and has been vociferated more often than all the others:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.1

If broken down and thoroughly examined, there are quite a number of rights being addressed within that single paragraph. However, it could easily be argued that the average American's knowledge of the First Amendment can be narrowed down to just three of the words contained within: freedom of speech.

When an individual feeling wronged, offended or simply trying to make a point (legitimate or not), vocalizes their thoughts and sentiments and receives a response implying even a hint of suppression, negation or suggestion that they remain silent on the issue, what is, quite often, the initial retaliatory counter-response? First Amendment Rights! Freedom of Speech! Most people, whether or not they fully grasp the entire concept of this small portion of the First Amendment or how it applies to their situation, are very quick to declare what they believe is the right to say whatever they want, however they want, whenever they want, wherever they want. And in the 21st century, the age of technology and faceless communication, the "wherever" is quite often on the internet.

While our First Amendment rights have had over 200 years to be dissected and examined and applied both successfully and unsuccessfully throughout various levels of our laws and society and daily lives, what many people do not realize is that how these rights apply to our online lives, in many cases, has yet to be determined. The law as it applies to "electronic communication" and the internet is still in its infancy. While guidelines and tentative regulations are being established via case law and other means every day around the country, the government faces a plodding, uncharted uphill battle as it struggles, often from sheer necessity, to take these centuries-old rights and apply them to our rapidly evolving, modern day electronic activities. (For a more recent example of how our laws are evolving regarding online activity, see: cyberharassment, an issue that has received attention on a national level.)

Needless to say, while many people may, indeed, be unaware of the rights (or lack thereof) that they are entitled to on the internet, this has in no way prevented them from exercising their "freedom of speech" entitlement (as they understand it) to its full extent. It would seem that many people have adopted the attitude of, "We've had freedom of speech for over 200 years and I'm included in that right, so I'm gonna say what I want, how I want, when I want and where I want, and there's nothing you can do about it. By golly." This attitude, upon spreading to the internet, has inevitably gained two key allies: anonymity and physical absence (or, as it's more commonly referred to, "hiding behind the keyboard").

Having a heated argument is much less of an unpleasant experience when you are not physically present for said argument, or, better yet, if your opponent is not privy to your identity. It's much easier to try and force a stubbornly fixed and uninformed opinion on "nickblows22511" than a 27 year old, 5'10", 215lb. caucasian male with brown hair and glasses, whose emotions are clearly visible via his expressions and body language. It's difficult to keep the steam in a petty, unresearched argument when you're in the physical presence of those you are arguing with. It's hard to pretend you know what you're talking about when your hesitation, uncertainty and lack of information are put on display through your own expressions and body language. But enter the keyboard and the LED screen and it's a completely different battle. We cannot be seen and we have no identity beyond what limited information we've chosen to make publicly available about ourselves. This gives us a sense of power, security and entitlement, enabling us to say whatever we want, however we want, whenever we want, wherever we want with no real consequence, simply because we can. But does the fact that was can mean that we should? Has the supposed right to freedom of speech overshadowed the oft-forgotten and much more powerful act of silence?

Pretend, for a moment, that it has just been announced that a series (book, television, game, take your pick) that you are an enormously rabid fan of has been greenlit for a big-budget movie adaptation helmed by one of your favorite directors. You are one of the first to hit all the major forums to proclaim (with pictures!) your opinion of which actors/actresses would be the best choices for each character in the film. You highlight every single tidbit of news and every blurry set photo on reddit and in your Twitter feed. As time goes on, the casting choices are announced (ZOMG Nathan Fillion got the part !!!!!! *squeeeeeee*) and you love nearly everyone who was chosen.

Finally, the release date is announced and you gleefully Fandango tickets for the midnight showing. The big night comes, you're waiting in line six hours before showtime, get fantastic seats and enjoy every rapturous moment of the most excellent adaptation of the most perfect series ever known to mankind. You come home from the theater and your excitement is immediately splashed all across your Twitter, your Facebook, your blog and all of the major forums. The next morning, you wake up and eagerly peruse all of the responses to your exuberant 3am babblings (26 likes, win). Everyone loved the movie, they had so much fun, they want to completely re-read/re-watch/re-play the series all over again now because it's so amazing, and... what's this? A linkback to your blog post by another prominent blogger (and outspoken fan of the series) whom you've favorited and often linkback to as well. They, too, went to the film's midnight showing and were prompted to compose a passionate, early-morning blog post. But unlike you, they absolutely hated the adaptation. They rant with much ado: the editing was haphazard, the actors completely reinvented the characters, the storyline was entirely out of continuum with an excessive amount of artistic liberty, the director was far too obsessed with CGI elements, the soundtrack was gaudy, the dialogue cheesy... on an on goes the post with nothing but harsh criticism and disappointment throughout. And for the cherry on the cake, this blogger used your post (your post!) to highlight all the reasons why they absolutely detested the film. Your "mindless fanboy enthusiasm" caused you to "view the film through rose-colored glasses, serving only to mask its glaring shortcomings".

Computer Guy

Why, the absolute nerve! How dare they use your post (that you poured your heart into!) to support their ridiculous, unfounded, unfair and entirely incorrect opinion! Without a moment's hesitation, you compose a scathing reply, typing furiously and without pause, pouring your shock, hurt and anger into what you feel is a justly deserved response from someone who has been criminally wronged. A brief, righteous grin quirks at the corner of your mouth as you hit "Submit", throwing your response (with a linkback to the offending post) up onto your blog for all to see. That will show them.

The next day, you eagerly login to view the inevitable linkback and counter-response to your passionate rebuke. A slight frown crosses your face as you see no linkbacks to your posts, nor any comments from the offending blogger. A page refresh confirms your findings, and a quick visit to the other blog shows absolutely neither a reference to nor acknowledgement of your heated response. Instead, there is a very run-of-the-mill contrast and comparison post between two recently released portable gaming systems.

Your initial reaction is confusion. You linked back to the blogger's post, they had to have seen your response. Your post had also been linked on your Facebook page, and while you weren't immediate friends with the blogger, you knew for a fact that you had at least a dozen mutual friends, several of which had commented on your Facebook link. Your confusion quickly shifts into indignation and perhaps mild disappointment. You'd said some very offensive things in your response. Things people don't just let go. Maybe the blogger was simply taking some time to craft a worthy counter-response. Surely one would be forthcoming.

But several more days go by with absolutely no mention of you or the film or your posts. Then a week. Just for kicks, you make a passing reference to the "incident" in a new post just to remind the offending blogger (whom you've unfavorited, by the way) that you haven't forgotten about his transgression. But a month goes by and there is no response to be had. And whenever you spot a mention of or reference to the blogger online, it rekindles your feelings of indignation and enmity. And whenever you rewatch the movie you so anticipated and adored, you can't help but think of the offending post and how that situation (in your mind) was never resolved.

Certainly, as time goes on, the whole incident will be (mostly) forgotten, lost to the infinite annals of petty internet squabbling, but it will always be noted that it was the lack of response, the silence, that weighed more heavily on your mind than any reply, no matter how offensive or unjust, ever could have. Had a response been immediately forthcoming, the external reaction may have been a seething, furiously pounded, emotionally charged comment for the ages, but inside you would have been gleefully rubbing your hands together, anticipating an all-out, no holds barred comment war of uncharted proportions. Because it was the response you craved. The reaction of an equally indignant internet guru. The acknowledgement of your feelings and your opinions and your words aiming to sting. What few people seem to realize or understand is that it is the lack of response, reaction or acknowledgement that burns the most. There is nothing we hate more than being ignored. Nothing more maddening than silence when a reaction is what we crave.

But we prize our freedom of speech. We relish in our ability, our right, to respond and react and vocalize our opinion by any means necessary. We have for so long been a culture that insisted upon our freedom of speech, crying out from the rooftops "First Amendment rights!" at the threat of suppression, that we have forgotten the power of silence. We so often use and abuse our seemingly inviolable right to open our mouths or sit at our keyboards and say whatever we want, however we want, whenever we want, wherever we want, that it rarely crosses our minds to simply say nothing. We have experienced being ignored and the power that it wields, and yet when a time comes when it would be most prudent and effective for us to remain silent, to simply smile and walk away, what do we immediately do? We respond, react and acknowledge because it feels good and right. But nothing is ever gained.

How many times have you read a short article online and proceeded to scroll down and read some of the comments? How many times have you shaken your head and thought, "What fools. What idiots. What ignoramuses. None of them has a clue what they're talking about." And how many times have you then proceeded to submit your own comment telling these faceless individuals just how foolish they are and how nothing they say online really matters? And when the next reader stumbles across the article and proceeds to peruse the comments, thinking your exact thoughts, will he then scroll down and single you out as the one commenter who has any sense in the bunch? Of course not. He will think, "What a bunch of idiots. Don't any of them realize that nothing they say on the internet really matters?" And he will proceed to post those very words. As will the next commenter and the next and the next. And they will all be labelled as ignoramuses, wasting their time, wasting their words. For it is a rare thing indeed that someone takes the time to say anything meaningful... that a comment is made that's insightful and informed and relevant. If what you have to say cannot be described as at least one of those things, then perhaps it would be better to withhold your opinion and remain silent.

Because though we've only had the right to freedom of speech for a few centuries, the power of silence has been ours since the beginning of time, no amendments required.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Food Videos

Just a couple of videos my bro discovered last night, and that I thought were pretty neat. Mostly just throwing them on here so that I will have posted something.

If you like modern war history, you’ll really like this vid, which depicts the wars (WWII – present) as food fights, with each food representing its respective country.

This YouTuber does stop-motion videos using ordinary household objects. However, they may not be used in an ordinary way. Extremely creative and fun to watch, the above video was one of my favorites. Also, it inspired my bro to make spaghetti immediately after viewing last night, so I had a tasty dinner waiting for me when I got home from work. (Note: If you typically put meat in your spaghetti sauce, try substituting bacon for a delicious, smoky flavor.)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Autumn Cometh

So… after receiving ZERO comments on any of the posts I’ve made over the past month, I finally had the sense to go and check the blog and see what the heck was going on, and… BLOGGER HAS NOT EVEN BEEN DISPLAYING THE POSTS!!!

…….

…….

…….

Haha, yeah… no… I seriously just have not done any posts within the last month. o_o My bad. So, insert various half-hearted excuses about being busy, seemingly self-deprecating criticisms of inherent apathy, and earnest (but ultimately unrealized) promises of improvement here: ____________________, aaannndddd… moving on!

What have I been watching? Well, since late July when I went and saw Inception, I have viewed (in theaters): The Karate Kid, How to Train Your Dragon, Salt, and The A-Team.

Four Movie Posters

Of those four films, only one of them was on my “top ten” list (The Karate Kid), and one was on the “runners up” list (Salt). How to Train Your Dragon would have been on my top ten list, but I created the list after the movie was released in theaters. I ended waiting to see “Dragon” at the cheap theater, which doesn’t get stuff in until waaaayyyy after the other theaters have stopped screening, but you only pay $1.00-$3.00, so… worth it.

I had debated going back and doing a review post on each film, but it’s really trippy trying to review a movie more than a few days after you’ve seen it, so the longer I kept trying to do that, the longer I ended up putting off posting, and I finally just said, screw it. I’ll post whatever the heck I want, and it’s not gonna be movie reviews. However, I will note that the above films were: Good (Salt), Good (The Karate Kid), Great (How to Train Your Dragon) and Good (The A-Team). Interestingly, I saw each one with a different person, and none of them were the people I usually go with. All good company, however.

If you’re an avid movie-viewer, and would recommend at least renting all of them. Salt and The A-Team had very summer-movie-type plots with either a very simple or “been there, seen that” feel, but were great on action. How much you enjoy them might depend on how you like your protagonists (testosterone-laden Army Ranger team, or femme fatale Russian spy), but both are good entertainment.

The Karate Kid was a little better story-wise, and seeing Jaden Smith in action will always be a treat. Definitely worth a viewing, even if you’re not into martial arts, but definitely if you’re into Jackie Chan. He really digs in with his acting spurs, drawing emotion out of his otherwise-quite-stoic character at the appropriate moments. Other than the mom getting kind of obnoxious at times, and the love story being a little awkward-tween-icky, I enjoyed this one (and was glad to cross the first “to watch” film off my top ten list, finally).

How to Train Your Dragon

My favorite of the four was definitely How to Train Your Dragon. An excellent picture from Dreamworks that has received loads of positive reviews, I convinced my mom to take me to see this one for my birthday. She was iffy because of the title, and because if was from Dreamworks. I think she had more a of a Shrek-like film in mind, with the oft-inappropriate humor and spoofy story-line. However, she walked out voicing surprise and approval at how good the film was. Another winner from the ol’ Dream machine. They may not be quite on par with Pixar (yet), but they’re sure as heck giving it their best shot.

In completely unrelated news, my Mozy backup has passed the halfway mark like a herd of turtles. Also, I found out the upload speed was being severely throttled (my bad), so I adjusted that and it’s running a little faster now. I just hope these segmented sessions don’t results in a fuzzy backup. Only time will tell.

PS- My fellow bloggers whose posts I normally comment on… do not despair. I’m still reading, I just haven’t had time to comment. I’ll get right on that.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

James and the Giant Peach on Blu-ray

Guess what came out of Blu-ray this past Tuesday?

James and the Giant Peach Blu-ray

Guess who hasn’t been able to pick it up, yet? :(

When I was a kid, my brothers and I used to watch this one over and over (on VHS, of course). I remember, this was pretty much the first movie my mom ever took us to see in the theater that was rated PG. Back then, PG-rated films were taboo with my family. We just didn’t go there. Sadly, if that film were re-rated by today’s standards, it would probably score a G.

However, I cannot seem to find this title for a decent price. Anywhere. Granted, Disney titles are almost always priced higher than other studios’ releases (even catalog releases like this one), but retailers usually offer some kind of special pricing during the first week. Typically, Disney titles can be had for somewhere around $20 right at release, and you end up getting them for $10 because Disney almost always offers a $10 coupon on their Blu-rays.

But, everywhere I go, $24.99… $24.99. Even Amazon is not giving me a break on this one. I may just have to fold and cough up the $15, which is right at my BD price limit, and doable, but…

In other news, I finally got around to seeing The Karate Kid (yes, the new one) last Wednesday. As always, a review will be forthcoming. This is just a filler post to keep the blog from dying completely. *cough*

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Reel Time Updates: Inception

On Friday, July 16th, I and my regular crew hit the cinema for a 12:35pm showing of Christopher Nolan’s box office hit: Inception.

Inception Poster

I’d been looking forward to this one since I saw the first trailer, though I probably would have gone to see it based simply on the fact that it was directed by Nolan. Or because Ken Watanabe is in it. Take your pick.

It was a great drama/thriller/brain-bender, and while there were adequately-spaced action sequences throughout, if you don’t like movies of some complexity that require a little thought during playback, you might want to sit this one out and just pick it up from Netflix or Redbox later on down the road. That way, if you end up falling asleep, you can do so in the comfort (and privacy) of your own home. The film was obviously a little too much for the viewer sitting directly behind us, as he yawned and muttered sleepily to his companion throughout the showing. Maybe he should have read the prequel comic before attending.

The Trailers: Unfortunately, it’s been over a week since I saw this one, and I typically try to rely on my (hardly reliable) memory for what was previewed before the film. I do remember seeing a lot of trailers that I’d never seen before. I remember: Due Date (starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis. Heard of, but never previewed); The Town (never seen or heard of); The Social Network (heard of, but thought it was just some kind of internet joke. It’s basically taking something mundane and trying to make it dramatic… either that, or trying to make people hate/distrust Facebook less. Or both); Tron Legacy (I’m a little iffy on this one. Still need to see the first one). And, yes, I’m going to try and start linking to the trailers I saw, because, otherwise, what’s the point?

My Take on Inception: Because of the nature of this film (it’s complex and makes you think), there are a whole lot of reviews out there discussing all the in and outs, the what-ifs and various aspects that Nolan touched on without going into further detail. One thing I will not discuss here is the controversial closing scene that everyone seems to be stuck on. At most, it was merely Nolan’s way of leaving an open window for a sequel. Beyond that, I don’t think viewers should let it change how they view the film as a whole.

Inception certainly lived up to my expectations, and they were relatively high (probably the highest I’ve had in a while), especially after seeing all the A and A+ reviews. Nolan presents the very unique concept of stealthing into and raiding people’s minds through dreams, and proceeds to strap that idea to a runaway freight train, taking it to its limits. Just when you think the film’s protagonists cannot delve any deeper into the minds of those they’re attempting to exploit, they do.

The score was superb. That “bass horn blast” I mentioned in my “Top 10” post? It was every bit as awesome as I expected it to be in theater surround-sound. I will almost definitely hunt down the soundtrack. It will be like giving my bass speakers crack.

Of course the casting was top-notch, and the visuals were excellent. I’m sure a lot of the film was green-screened, but the cast breezed through like pros, interacting well with the digital sets.

Inception Still

There was only one scene that I felt a bit let down by. (SPOILER ALERT) Throughout the film, DiCaprio’s character, Cobb, is haunted (both in and out of the dream worlds) by memories of his deceased wife, Mal, whose death he feels responsible for. She is painted as both villain and victim as she pleads with Cobb to remain with her in the dream world, and then tries to destroy him and his team when he refuses. Near the end of the film, when Cobb finally realizes that he must let go of his twisted, tainted memories of his wife, the tortured farewell scene was not quite as emotional as I thought it should have been. This is likely because we do not get to know Mal very well, or at least not beyond her status as Cobb’s unforgiving, relentless, and mostly memory-based personal issue. While the scene was very dramatic, and somewhat dragged-out, I just wasn’t feeling it when Cobb severed the crumbling, imaginary relationship he’d been failing to sustain with the person he loved and longed for the most. (END SPOILER ALERT)

If you haven’t seen this film, yet, you need to. Go see it on the big screen, and then pick it up when it’s released on Blu-ray (or DVD if you prefer inferior video/audio quality). It has great action, performances, dialogue, sound, visuals, and the story actually forces you to think. If this is Chris Nolan’s way of throwing us a bone between The Dark Knight and “Batman 3”, I, for one, am gnawing away with relish.

(Oh, and I snuck in a little reference to the reason it took me so long to get this post up. If you spotted it, congratulations! If not… you probably don’t need to know. *grin, wink*)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Successful Recovery

So, as you may have guessed from my absence (and for that, I do apologize), or to reiterate if you’ve been following me tweets, I got my data back on Friday, July 9th, and have been working to catch up on everything since that point. The professional service I’d entreated to help me out (I did my best not to whimper when I handed the technician my comatose drive) was able to make a full recovery, and so it’s time for some name-dropping (because you have to earn that):

Data Recovery Group – I was helped by a Mr. Ron Davis, who is, apparently, a regional manager, and was very courteous and helpful. The diagnosis on the drive was a single bad head, which was replaced, and then I brought in a second hard-drive for him to transfer the recovered data onto.

Hard-Drive

The place was like a doctor’s office (a hard-drive doctor), and there were several previous patients (I guess they’d donated their bodies to science) lying dissected on a table by the check-in desk. It was very educational; I think all physicians should look into it.

The office was complete with a sign-in sheet and paperwork to fill out. The front desk extended from wall-to-wall like a blockade. The only way through was to climb over, and it was at least chest-height. I assumed this was for when the “doctor” had to tell people that the patient hadn’t made it. I can imagine folks getting pretty pissed/irrational in their grief, and I wondered if the technician kept some sort of ranged weapon behind the desk. I almost asked him if they had any referrals for grief counselors.

But, as I’d noted previously in Put Your Data in The Cloud, I hit up Mozy.com for a 2-year subscription as soon as I got home. It was around $88USD after a 15% off + 1 Month Free coupon I found on RetailMeNot. (As of 07.15.10, it’s the one at the top, BESTOFMONTH. It says 20% off, but it’s actually 15%.) I downloaded the Mozy software, selected what I wanted it to backup, and let’errip. The little spinning circle of life that indicated someone knew how to use Flash progress activity churned to life, and… and now I know why it’s called “Mozy”:

mo·sey mo·zy / [moh-zee] –verb
1.to wander or shuffle about leisurely; stroll; saunter

In other words, this sucker is slow. And when it’s on, the internet has a bad case of the lags. Granted, this will only be the case for the duration of the initial backup, but, if I did my calculations right, that could take anywhere from 2-5 months to complete. Yeah.

Molasses

I’m only averaging 1.5 – 2 GBs of data uploaded per day at full speed, and that severely throttles bandwidth. Because of that, I’m only allowing Mozy to run at night when no one’s using the internet. Yes, I could decrease the amount of bandwidth Mozy’s allowed to use while uploading so it could run 24/7, but even then, the lag is just noticeable enough that the other household members get pissed, and shoot strings of frustrated, “R u d/ling sumthin!?” texts my way. I guess I’ll keep fiddling with it.

Once the initial download is completed, Mozy will run in the background (I’m hoping with little-to-no resource-hogging behavior), quietly backing up only the files that it detects have been updated since the last backup.

So, while the old, faulty hard-drive was KIA, I guess you could say “all’s well that ends well”. And while I may be significantly poorer because of my lack of foresight, whenever I lose money due to my own ineptitude, I like to look at it as the cost of a lesson well learned. In this case, the moral of the story is: always backup your data, because you’ll never know how much it’s worth until it’s (almost) gone.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

More Awesomeness from TeeFury

One of my last posts over at the “old” ~synonymous blue LiveJournal blog showcased the nine awesome tees I’d received via three separate TeeFury.com grab-bags ($17 shipped gets you three random tees, chosen from what was on sale the previous month). Why would I pay good money for mystery shirts that I don’t even know if I’ll like? For the thrill, my friends! Also, most of their tees are, at the very least, interesting and well-designed, so my indulgence in these little bundles of 100% cotton joy is rarely a waste.

Last month, TeeFury posted up another grab-bag for May 2010, and I (of course) pounced on it. Here’s what I received:

JUNE 2010 GRAB BAG

TeeFury Shirt - Galactic Sideshow

Galactic Sideshow ~ Thomas G. Sullivan | This one was the best of the three. It has a great geek/Trekkie reference, it’s hilarious, and it has good colors. FTW.

TeeFury - Abaeterno

Abaeterno ~ m. Brady Clark | Apparently this is a LOST shirt, but I guess I haven’t gotten to whatever point in the show it’s referencing, because I don’t quite get it (I’ve only watched season one… taking a break to watch other stuff, now). However, even if it did make sense, I don’t particularly care for this shirt for two reasons: 1) the design is somewhat *ahem* phallic in nature; 2) it’s a white tee. Blegh.

 TeeFury - Lost Collage

Lost Collage ~ jimiyo | Another LOST homage, and one that I also do not completely understand. I see a few familiar elements from the show, but I guess all will be revealed as I progress through the other seasons. At first blush, the shirt appears to be ancient Egyptian in nature, which is pretty cool. Also, it’s black, and that’s a plus.

So, one, possibly two good tees out of three is not too bad at all. The second shirt would probably just be something to throw on around the house, mostly because it’s white. White ≠ win.

OH! This tee was not part of the June grab-bag, but I have to post it because it’s from TeeFury and it’s awesome (and you know it’s awesome because I paid $11 shipped for it on its sale day):

TeeFury - Pandora BlueSkins

Pandora BlueSkins ~ WinterArtwork | Sorry, but I liked the movie Avatar, and don’t care what the haters say. Not really a Washington Redskins fan (the design is a spoof of their logo), but that doesn’t really matter. This really appeals to the geek in me, and I had to have it.

Want one of these tees? Too late. If you don’t grab a TeeFury tee you like on the sale date, or unless you’re lucky enough to get it in the next month’s grab-bag, the only way to acquire a previous tee is if someone is selling/trading theirs. Sorry. ;]

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Reel Time Updates: The Last Airbender

Saturday night saw me and a gaggle of mis compañeros at our local cinema for a 9:50pm viewing of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender in 2D. (I’d heard reports that many theater-goers had been able to [clearly] view a good chunk of the 3D version sans glasses, so that was out.) Also, I didn’t want to pay an inflated ticket price for a film that was receiving such lousy reviews.

The Last Airbender Poster

I did attempt to purchase a student admission, but was informed that, “We don’t do student admissions on weekends.” What, so if it’s not a normal school-day, I’m not a student? The only period of my academic career when I got weekends off were grades K-3 in private school. After that, between home-schooling and higher education online, any attempts to take weekends off resulted in projects getting turned in late. And what are students on the weekends if they’re not students? Delinquent dropouts? All that being said, I’m technically not attending school right now anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.

The Trailers: For some reason, it seems that less trailers were played before this film than most of the others I’ve seen this year. I remember seeing: Gulliver’s Travels (good for some cheap laughs, but otherwise a waste of time); Rango (I think this film looks like it could be good/interesting. I’d seen the trailer, but, as always, bigger is better); Green Hornet (the action looks good, but I’m still not buying Seth Rogen as the Hornet); and Megamind (it’s about time for a new trailer. This film still has five months before release).

My Take on The Last Airbender: Okay, so several people are threatening to publicly disown me because I went and saw this, but… guys… it’s on my Top Ten list! (Yes, that means I had to go see it.) While I respect and value the reviews of my fellow cinephiles, I simply cannot base my opinions on their opinions. Especially if it’s a film I’ve been wanting to check out. The same for the vice versa: if it’s a film I don’t think looks all that great, I usually won’t go and see it just because everyone is raving about it (e.g., The Hangover, Paranormal Activity, Splice).

But in any case, while there was quite a bit of chatter going on during the film, I managed to take most of it in, and while it was lacking in quite a few areas, I still enjoyed it and may actually give it a second viewing when it hits the “cheap theater”. (Those folks who want to publicly disown me have just upgraded my status to “lynch in a back alley… it’s for your own good”.)

In order to appreciate Shyamalan’s films, I’ve found that it’s best to view them as works of modern art. You know, like those weird pieces you see in museums with blobs of paint on an enormous canvas, or an awkward, toddler-quality line drawn across a piece of plywood.

Modern Art

While some may look at this and say, “This is crap. Anyone can splash paint on a board,” others will find meaning in the work, or will appreciate what the artist was envisioning when they created it. When watching Shyamalan films, I try to do so from the standpoint of the latter group. This makes the film more enjoyable (or more bearable), and I find myself spotting some of the really neat perspectives and camera angles Shyamalan uses.

Now, that viewpoint does not apply as much to The Last Airbender as it has for Shyamalan’s other films because this is the first movie the oft-bashed filmmaker cannot claim to be an original work. It’s based on a very well-written, much-loved Nickelodeon cartoon series, so there was a built-in and very rabid possessive loyal fan base that the writer/director was having to cater to (yes, I have seen and am a fan of the series).

I have automatic sympathy for anyone associated with a reboot or adaptation, because the same fan base that will guarantee ticket sales will also guarantee outlandish expectations. It was silly for anyone to expect this film to be as great as the series. The series was epic, and you simply cannot condense 8+ hours and of epicness (the first season, aka “The Water Book”) into 2 hours and expect it to be just as good (or even comparable, apparently).

The best thing about the film was probably the visuals, and that includes CGI, sets, scenery and costumes. Most of the costumes were close, if not spot-on. While a lot of the hairstyles were off, it’s ridiculous to expect animé hair to translate perfectly into real-life ‘dos (see: Dragonball). While we often got only fleeting glances of a lot of locations included in the film, they were fairly accurate and aesthetic.

The worst thing about the film was the pronunciation of certain names, places and terms. I can’t believe the series’ creators (who purportedly worked with Shyamalan) allowed some of the changes he made in this area. Name pronunciation is a tabula rasa when translating from book to film, because readers have never actually heard how a particular name is pronounced. When they hear it differently than they had been pronouncing it in their mind, there’s the initial annoyance/shock, but then they think, “Okay, I had it wrong all this time,” and move on (see: Hermione). However, when viewers have already been audibly exposed to a particular pronunciation for three entire seasons of a TV series, trying to switch that up is a no-no. Sorry, Shyamalan, but… epic fail.

M. Night Shyamalan

Probably the most oft-mocked of these was the name of the titular protagonist: Aang. In the series, the name was pronounced AING (rhymes with “slang”), but in the movie, characters pronounced it ONG (rhymes with “long”). Sometimes it even came out as UNG. By about halfway through the film, our entire row (as well as the row behind us) would, in unison (and correctly), chime, “Aang!” every time a character mispronounced the name (which was every single time it was mentioned). Needless to say, said occurrence would be great for a drinking game.

Other than that, the bending was pretty awesome (all though there wasn’t enough of it, and the pre-bending warm-ups were way too long), Sokka (pronounced SOCK-UH, not SOAK-UH!) was not very funny, there wasn’t enough meaningful dialogue, the plot was a poorly-sewn patchwork of the series’ first season, and pretty much the entire Fire Nation (except Dev Patel’s Zuko, why’d they decide to pronounce this one right?) was miscast.

As usual, I understand why this film is taking such a beating. For all intents and purposes, it royally sucked, but I like to try and look at the glass as half full, and there are films that I’ve walked away from feeling much, much worse. Shyamalan, I’m still a fan and it may not be your destiny to remain involved with this project, but I really hope the other two films get made. It would suck if The Last Airbender turned out to be another Eragon or The Golden Compass. C’mon, Paramount/Nickelodeon: yip-yip!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Put Your Data in The Cloud

Word of advice, friends: never, ever, ever, never place sole trust in your equipment to keep your data safe. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been keeping all your photos and documents on the same computer for 10 years and it’s been running just fine, there are absolutely no guarantees. I used to do backups a couple of times a year, but that was when all of my files could fit on two 700MB DVD-RWs. Ha.

But why waste a hard drive bay or USB port (for an external HDD) for yet another drive which only serves as a backup device? Why not keep your data in the “cloud”? For those unfamiliar with the cloud, it is derived from the term “cloud computing”, which is basically just like regular computing (store your files, check your email, run software and tasks, etc.), only it’s done completely on the internet. Pretty cool, hey?

A much simpler use for the cloud, though, is simply as online storage for your files, and as a backup service. One such service (and one I’m definitely going to invest in) is Mozy.com. They offer unlimited storage space, a solid program for keeping your stuff backed-up, and very reasonable rates. Probably not for the security freaks, the paranoid, or the conspiracy theorists, but it’s a great alternative to dozens of DVDs or an extra hard drive lying around waiting for your computer to crash.

I say I’m “going to” invest in it, because I currently have no data to backup, and so Mozy is of no use to me at this moment in time. Why do I have no data to backup? Because it’s all sitting on a hard drive in a data recovery shop down the road. Why does the data recovery shop have my hard drive and, thus, my data? Because the piece of junk went and had an aneurysm during one of the recent electrical storms that have been passing through my area, and my data became inaccessible.

Sad Cloud

Frustrating? Yes. Scary? Yes. A very expensive lesson learned about backing up your data? Heck, yes. Should have kept my data in the cloud.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Microblogging

What is microblogging? A lot of people are active (or semi-active) microbloggers and don’t even know it. I think UrbanDictionary suitably defines the term:

“Microblogging is a form of blogging that allows users to write brief text updates (usually less than 200 characters) and publish them.”

Twitter and Jaiku are used as examples of microblogging sites/services. Even Facebook status updates, in a way, can be considered a type of microblog. The term “blog” is a portmanteau (a two or more word combo) of the words “web” and “log” (weblog), and was shortened to just “blog” because that’s one less syllable and sounds cooler. A blog is like a journal or a log of events/discussion online, so microblogging would be pretty much the same thing, only, as UrbanDictionary noted, usually within some 200 characters or less.

Microblog

I personally use Twitter to microblog, posting everything from status updates (what am I doing right now?), to links to stuff I find newsworthy/interesting/entertaining, to general back-and-forth chatter with other Twitter users. Unfortunately, the downside of this fun and unique service—requiring posts of 140 characters or less—is: I do not make posts here (on my full-sized blog) quite as much as I’d like. That being said, if you want to hear more from/about me, you should (at your own risk) follow me on Twitter. Or, at least… you know… go check out my page (I added a new background, ooooh…).

I’m thinking about becoming redundant and reposting some of the same stuff here that I post on Twitter, but with additional commentary. The whole point of (and one of the things I love about) Twitter, though, is that you’re forced to keep things brief. I’m a person of few words (input over output), so short info-bytes suit me perfectly. I don’t need five paragraphs to tell you I’m excited about Ridley Scott’s latest project. However, my unwanted opinions may occasionally exceed a 140-character-limit. ;)

Monday, June 21, 2010

Reel Time Updates: Toy Story 3

Friday the 18th was opening night for the third and final chapter in Pixar’s Toy Story saga. My fellow cinefreak and I were shooting for a 9:40pm 2D showing of the film, but I did not get away from work until almost 9:30pm, and so we ended up snagging tickets for a 10:05 showing in 3D. This turned out to be a really good thing.

Toy Story 3 (Woody) Poster

I’d purchased both Toy Story and Toy Story 2 on Blu-ray when they were released on March 23rd, both of which included “movie money”, good towards tickets for Toy Story 3. While the movie money certificate was only good for up to $8.50 of the ticket price, the ticket clerk was either clueless or very generous, and I didn’t pay a thing for my late/opening-night $13.25 adult 3D admission.

The Trailers: Most of the previews featured were for family friendly films, I suppose because we were at a “kids’” movie. I remember seeing: Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (gah, so awful); Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (they didn’t even show the newer trailer!); The Smurfs (please end the lame reboots/adaptations); The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (saw it online earlier that day, but the theater trailer was in 3D!); Tangled (a.k.a. “Rapunzel”: already seen, but, again… 3D); The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (I could really hear Baruchel’s “Hiccup” voice coming out); and, of the course, the obligatory Despicable Me trailer (Universal is just promoting the crap outta that thing).

My Take on Toy Story 3: As various trailers emerged for this film in late 2009/early 2010, the Pixar magic was evident, but I’ll admit I had some doubts. Sneak peeks included a lot of explosions and mayhem that seemed a little unrealistic in the Toy Story world I’d come to know and love. These doubts were dispelled in a brilliant opening sequence that basically combined those of the first and second films in story and style, respectively.

If you’ve seen the trailers, you know the film’s basic storyline: the toys’ owner, Andy, is leaving for college, and so the Toy Story gang ends up getting donated to a local daycare center. While initially excited about their new circumstances (getting played with all day, everyday), the toys soon discover that Sunnyside Daycare is not all it was cracked up to be. Throughout various trials and tribulations, the toys must once again figure out how to extricate themselves from the mess they’ve landed in, and find their way back to Andy (before he leaves for college).

Toy Story 3 - Andy

We are introduced to many new toy characters throughout the film, and while some felt that there were too many new faces to keep up with, each one added to the story in their own way. The humor was on-par with most of Pixar’s films, with a lot of kid-friendly goofiness, and a little “over their heads” humor for older viewers. The action was neither dull nor over-the-top, and the elements of the pint-sized protagonists’ world were used realistically, and to their full advantage. I never found myself thinking, “Wow, that was kinda dumb,” like I so often do with sequels trying to live up to their predecessors.

A lot of reviews I’ve seen for this movie put a lot of focus on the end of the film, and rightfully so. In the (supposedly) last film of a trilogy, there must be a definitive conclusion that leaves viewers satisfied. If the writers can throw in a little respectful reminiscing or jerk a few tears, all the better (oh, yes… I got choked up). The film’s closing sequence was very well done, and I think most viewers will be happy with it.

I only had a couple of very minor complaints (not even really complaints) about Toy Story 3. The absence of Jim Varney (succumbed to lung cancer in 2000) as the voice of Slinky Dog was very apparent, though newcomer Blake Clark obviously did his best to embody the stretchy canine with a southern drawl. The other thing I noted was that the main antagonist in the third film had a very similar story, personality and demise as Stinky Pete from Toy Story 2. There was a great likeness between the two characters, and while this was not necessarily a bad thing (maybe it was intentional), I did wonder if anyone else noticed.

Overall, I urge those who haven’t already indulged to go and catch this three-quel on the big screen. Also, the 3D version is highly recommend. One of the things I dislike about 3D films is when you become so quickly accustomed to that third dimension, you’d forget that you were even at a 3D screening except for the clunky glasses sitting on your face. In these cases, the added dimension has no life, and was not worth the higher admission price. Toy Story 3 is not one of those films. There are enough “wow!” moments where the 3D really pops to justify the higher price, and it definitely adds to the experience.

Oh, and make sure you hit the theater early enough to catch this film’s short: Day & Night. It’s brilliant, and portrays a heartfelt, crystal-clear lesson about understanding those who are different from us.

Pixar's Day & Night

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Rentals for the People

So, Mr. MG Siegler of Techcrunch (follow him on Twitter!) posted an article the other day about Paramount Home Entertainment’s deal with Redbox to continue making their movies available for rental on the same day they are made available for purchase.

Wait, A Hollywood Exec Actually Making Sense With Regard To Movie Rentals And The Web? ~ MG Siegler (TechCrunch, 06.17.10)

Siegler reminds readers that Paramount’s is a decision that has been vetoed by other major studios (e.g., Fox, WB, Universal), who have instead opted to make renters wait 28 days post-release before they can pick up their films through Redbox.

Redbox Rental Kiosk

Now, I personally do not indulge in movie rentals because I don’t have time to watch the dozens of unopened films I already own. (Okay, I do have time, but always seem to end up following more trivial pursuits, despite my passion for movie-watching.) In addition, I’m more of a collector than a borrower. If I really like a film (or think I will), I have to own it. Granted, there are probably hundreds of movies that I would like to take a peek at, but that I don’t feel like adding to my collection, most namely: comedies/romedies. Great for a few laughs and some mind-numbing entertainment, but lack of real plot and overused raunchy humor usually turns me off of actually purchasing any titles falling into those categories.

Back on topic, it seems that Paramount has to chosen to exercise a little common sense. In the long run, pushing back the rental window for new-release films is not going to send the masses running for their nearest media retail outlet, desperate to plunk down $20-$30 for a title they’d hoped to view (and return) for a dollar. Most people will probably either:

a) Find another (perhaps illegal) source for viewing the film (studio gets NO money)
b) Rent an older title instead and wait out the 28 days until the film they really wanted to watch is available (studio still only gets $1 per rental)
c) Mill about the Redbox kiosk, murmuring in confusion because the title they’re looking for is on the COMING SOON list, even though the retailer in which the kiosk resides advertises the movie as ON SALE TODAY. This will result in angry complaints to retail employees, who “never did anything to deserve this, curse you Redbox” (studio loses money because angry consumers and retail employees have sworn to boycott Redbox altogether).
d) Decide to just go to the theater instead (studio may or may not make money, depending on which film is ultimately viewed).

Anti-Redbox Riot

Or, folks may turn around and actually pay for a copy of the movie. While this seems unlikely, some people are like sheep and will go where directed if prodded hard enough. The question is: is delaying rentals actually the best way to direct consumers towards buying a (legitimate) copy of the film? I cannot speak for the average consumer, but, for me, removing something that I’m accustomed to having day-one access to is not going to inspire a sudden urge to go looking for a more expensive alternative. A little more incentive needs to be produced. For instance: create a special “coming soon” section of the rental kiosks for titles available in stores, but not for rental. Each title could have a placeholder with the date it will become available for rental and $5 coupons good towards the purchase of a DVD or Blu-ray copy of the film.

For those who were only looking to spend a dollar on a cheap movie night, or didn’t have more than a dollar to spend anyway, that’s not going to be a very effective sales tactic. However, for those who may have been considering a purchase anyway, but wanted to preview the movie before deciding, while finding out the movie was unavailable would have sent them on their way, the coupon might cause them to look twice and reconsider investing in their own copy. Especially if the coupon is only valid for a limited time.

Retailers use coupons to manipulate consumers’ “it’s-on-sale-so-it’s-a-deal” impulse buy instincts all the time. Something that a shopper would never have considered buying previously is suddenly a hot item because, “Oh, there’s a coupon.” Why shouldn’t movie distribution studios take the same approach? In order to coax people into doing something they would normally do (purchase a new-release film on disc), you don’t punish them with pointless restrictions (delay of availability for rental); you offer a little incentive, and make consumers think they’re getting a deal (e.g., coupons). Less stick, more carrot.

Dangle Paranormal Activity DVD

Friday, June 18, 2010

Confessions of a Blu-ray-aholic

Is this awesome, or is this awesome?

Blu-Ray Disc Logo Custom Light

I’m still trying to decide where to put it. It hangs by a chain, but it has to be plugged in, and the cord kind of gets in the way (in addition to disrupting the sign’s aesthetic qualities). It’ll probably get centered between my posters for Ponyo and The Incredibles.

Want one? I got mine for $30 from likelightsign2009 on eBay.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Top 10 Anticipated Films of Summer, Fall 2010

Top 10 Anticipated Films of Summer-Fall 2010

PLEASE NOTE: The films are numbered in order of release date, not in order of personal preference or level of anticipation. The films were selected based on my immediate and high level of interest upon hearing about them, viewing a trailer, or viewing stills and a synopsis.

BREAKDOWN

01) The Karate Kid (07.11.10) – It is important to note that I have never seen the 1984 version of this film, or any of it’s sequels. Initially, the focal point of my interest was Jaden Smith. I really enjoyed his performance—alongside his dad, Will Smith—in Pursuit of Happyness, as well as his work with Keanu Reeves in the 2008 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Jaden appears to be a very promising young actor, and his role in the updated “Karate Kid” film puts a lot of demands on him, both physically, and because he’s taking on a reboot of what some consider to be a classic movie.

02) Toy Story 3 (06.18.10) – Pixar. Enough said.

03) The Last Airbender (07.02.10) – I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan. I am also a fan of the Nickelodeon series that this movie is based on. (If you haven’t seen the Avatar: The Last Airbender series, do whatever you have to to get your hands on a copy of all three seasons on DVD and watch it. Now. Even if you don’t plan on seeing the film.) While I know that Shyamalan is a big turn-off for some people, and while he would not have been my first choice to helm this adaptation, I’m extremely curious to see what he’s done with what is slated to be the first film in a trilogy; one per season of the show.

04) Despicable Me (07.09.10) – Universal Pictures is not exactly known for its CGI features, but everyone else has jumped on that ride, so it was really only a matter of time. Ever since I caught the first teaser trailer for the film, which ended with a snazzy beat from hip hop artist Pharrell, I’ve wanted to see more. And, I mean, Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig, Julie Andrews… what’s not to like?

05) Inception (07.16.10) – Christopher Nolan. Enough said. Well… okay, the concept, visuals and cast list are also awesome. Also, I think I’d buy a ticket just to go and hear that spooky/awesome bass horn blast in theater surround sound.

06) The Expendables (08.13.10) – I think I was browsing through trailers via the iTunes web site (the one and only reason I ever visit), and saw the red and black “skull poster” for this film. The poster art was pretty awesome in and of itself, but when I looked closer and began to read some of the names associated with the project, I nearly choked with excitement, and had to go double-check on IMDb to verify that such an unbelievably friggin’ awesome cast list had indeed been put together. Oh, yes, they did.

The Expendables Poster

07) Centurion (08.27.10) – I only recently heard about this film (made in Spain) and saw the trailer for it, but I was intrigued and initial reviews have been good. Movies based in/on ancient Rome are always cool. (Okay, okay… I just wanted to see more of Olga Kurylenko as a woad-wearing bounty hunter chick.)

08) Megamind (11.05.10) – Dreamworks has really begun to impress with their last several CGI endeavors, specifically Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon (still want/need to see the latter). While Universal’s Despicable Me will have beat Dreamworks to the punch with the whole super-villain-turned-good-guy thing in this year’s CGI line-up (why do they always play the copycat game?), I want to see if Dreamworks has managed to keep up their winning streak.

09) Tangled (11.24.10) – Actually, it’s Rapunzel. The Disney marketing team has just lapsed into a bout of temporary insanity, and—any time now—are gonna be all, “Psyche! You didn’t really think we were going to replace the classic title of a classic fairy tale with some kind of 21st century, tweenie, horror-title-wannabe name, did you?” Other than the title working title, anything from Disney animated is a must-see for me.

10) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (12.10.10) – Besides the fact the The Voyage of the Dawn Treader was my favorite book in C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series, I thought the first two films were awesome. I was devastated when Disney pulled out of the “Narnia” series, leaving it in limbo. That turned out to be only a temporary setback, however. Fox FTW.

RUNNERS UP

These titles didn’t make my top ten list, but are still worth mentioning:

  • Jonah Hex
  • Knight and Day
  • Salt
  • Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
  • Buried
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Morning Glory

Knight and Day Poster