Me: Hi.
Guy: Hey, I have a giant gumball machine filled with gumballs here that I think you need.
Me: I need a giant gumball machine?
Guy: Yes, you most certainly do. You need to buy this machine and these gumballs.
Me: Well, how much is it?
Guy: It's only $500 for the machine AND the gumballs. I'm giving you a deal, too.
Me: But I don't have $500.
Guy: It doesn't matter. You need this machine and these gumballs, and you're gonna buy 'em.
Me: But... I don't really need that much gum. I chew a piece every now and again, but I can usually get a piece for free from someone I know.
Guy: Well, the gum they're giving you isn't good for you. You shouldn't be eating that gum. These gumballs are better.
Me: Okay, well... what do I get for my $500?
Guy: This giant gumball machine and a whole ton of gumballs.
Me: ...that I'm not going to be eating.
Guy: That's right.
Me: Okay, here's $500. You can just put the machine right over there.
Guy: Splendid, splendid. So, if you ever feel like having a gumball, just put 50¢ in these little slots, turn the handle and VOILA! You can have a gumball!
Me: Wait... these are my gumballs. I just paid you $500 for them. Why do I have to pay another 50¢ to get a gumball from the machine?
Guy: Because that's the way the machine works. You make your initial payment and then each time you want to use the machine, you pay a little more.
Me: So I'm paying myself back for my own gumballs?
Guy: Oh, no-no! The money you put into the gumball machine does not come back to you. That's my money.
Me: Wait, so you get the money that I put into the machine if I want a gumball? But it's my machine.
Guy: Wellll... yes. You *did* pay for the machine, so technically it's yours, but the money you put into it is not yours. It's mine.
Me: Okay, well... what do you do with the money?
Guy: Oh, I give it to other people so that they can buy gumballs.
Me: So, you take my money that I put into the machine to buy a gumball and you give it to other people so that they can have gumballs too?
Guy: Yes, exactly.
Me: Can't they afford their own gumballs?
Guy: No, not really.
Me: But I can't afford the machine or the gumballs either and, again, I really don't chew gum that much. Like... hardly ever.
Guy: Well, that's irrelevant. You should be happy! Look, you have this lovely, giant gumball machine and all these gumballs now, and other people can now enjoy these gumballs too!
Me: Well, I guess I will be eating those gumballs after all since that $500 I gave you was to buy food for the next couple of months. Spaghetti and gumballs, anyone?
